Just wrote a really shit poem entitled "Fuck"
That basically sums up how my weekend was. Haven't felt this shit in a long time. My whole universe was practically collapsing in my hands.
I've spent the last while thinking about how scared I was. How scared I am. How weak, and ashamed and how so, so, scared I am. How dependant I am. And how I seem to have fucked up the one thing that I thought would be flawless, and shattered the idea that I'm a good person, and shattered a certainty that I- actually, not just me- never thought would even be in question. I don't think I'll ever stop feeling sorry for this.
Sorry for the crypticness, I just needed to vent.
On the plus side.....
um...
Well, I went to see Hanna- the movie, not a person- and it was really good. I enjoy seeing pretty girls kill people immensely.
Sigh. Bye bye now, children.
Cíara xox
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Important World Events/ My Little Life
So, Osama Bin Laden's dead, I've got a day off school and as soon as this is done, it's productive time- maybe.
About the whole Bin Laden thing...I don't really have too much to say. I will say, however, that the vlogbrothers continue to teach me more than school ever could. Ms O'Reilly in particular, who's brief synopsis of Bin Laden's death was just...no. Clearly lacking the common intellectual sense that she thinks she has so much of. I can't say Bin Laden's death has a huge impact on me, because I was five when 9/11 happened and it's so difficult to find a straight story of everything about it that it's difficult to from a full opinion. I mean, I know everything everyone else knows, I'm sure, but there's an awful lot of conspiracy and out-and-out bullshit too. I will share a quote from Hank Green of the vlogbrothers though, that while not really relevant to me because I'm kind of detachted from the situation, is probably as good an explanation as any for how people - or at least, some people- are feeling.
"So lets just say this- the fact that I know I shouldn't be happy about the death of another human being, doesn't change the fact that- I am."
There is a lot to be said about this, and about the morality of it and about whether it was right or wrong to do it without permission, but, my friends, I'm not the person to say it.
Although of course, we all know I'm really a terrorist and my birth set the whole 9/11 thing in motion ;D
As afore mentioned, I have a day off school today. I woke up at about twenty past seven, hit snooze two, maybe three times and turned the alarm off at half seven. Feeling rather surprised about how awake I felt, I resolved to get up in just a minute...and woke up at twenty past eight. And then promptly fell asleep and woke up to my brother informing me it was ten to ten. Yay.
Usually, I would have gone to school anyway, but I was school an extra three hours yesterday. I'm entitled to a day off.
I'm not wasting my day though. I'm going to do a maths question, some music revision sheets, make paper stars and maybe draw something not related to school. Don't get more productive than that, right?
But first, I need to feed my addiction. Coffffffffffee time :D
Peace and Love,
Cíara
xox
P.S. I am aware that I still haven't done Cian's blog. I'll get to it when I'm feeling inspired, kay? <3
About the whole Bin Laden thing...I don't really have too much to say. I will say, however, that the vlogbrothers continue to teach me more than school ever could. Ms O'Reilly in particular, who's brief synopsis of Bin Laden's death was just...no. Clearly lacking the common intellectual sense that she thinks she has so much of. I can't say Bin Laden's death has a huge impact on me, because I was five when 9/11 happened and it's so difficult to find a straight story of everything about it that it's difficult to from a full opinion. I mean, I know everything everyone else knows, I'm sure, but there's an awful lot of conspiracy and out-and-out bullshit too. I will share a quote from Hank Green of the vlogbrothers though, that while not really relevant to me because I'm kind of detachted from the situation, is probably as good an explanation as any for how people - or at least, some people- are feeling.
"So lets just say this- the fact that I know I shouldn't be happy about the death of another human being, doesn't change the fact that- I am."
There is a lot to be said about this, and about the morality of it and about whether it was right or wrong to do it without permission, but, my friends, I'm not the person to say it.
Although of course, we all know I'm really a terrorist and my birth set the whole 9/11 thing in motion ;D
As afore mentioned, I have a day off school today. I woke up at about twenty past seven, hit snooze two, maybe three times and turned the alarm off at half seven. Feeling rather surprised about how awake I felt, I resolved to get up in just a minute...and woke up at twenty past eight. And then promptly fell asleep and woke up to my brother informing me it was ten to ten. Yay.
Usually, I would have gone to school anyway, but I was school an extra three hours yesterday. I'm entitled to a day off.
I'm not wasting my day though. I'm going to do a maths question, some music revision sheets, make paper stars and maybe draw something not related to school. Don't get more productive than that, right?
But first, I need to feed my addiction. Coffffffffffee time :D
Peace and Love,
Cíara
xox
P.S. I am aware that I still haven't done Cian's blog. I'll get to it when I'm feeling inspired, kay? <3
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